zeldathemes
Reductio ad absurdum
The logic, the absurd and weird, the beautiful and the fangirl.


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satanslittlewh0re:

this is the best pun in tv history but oh my gosh the feels

floralls:

*** (by felidae.)

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

anythingaladdin:

Disney Heroines 

By: gariSK

I am so happy it featured ones from other movies as well as the Disney princesses! :)

BIANCA!

Cutest little lady mouse of all :)

janesfoster:

Bring it d o w n

"Cause, as he puts it, ‘you can’t torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away’."

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

daenereiss:

tenzin had to give her a master outfit so that she finally leaves him alone

daenereiss:

tenzin had to give her a master outfit so that she finally leaves him alone

simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.


That last story is worth reblogging

simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.

That last story is worth reblogging

vinegod:

He Hates TFIOS lmao by ScottySire

minnelli:

Today at work I bumped into Martin Freeman on the stairwell on his way to his warm-up for the show tonight (for those who don’t know I work at the theatre where he’s performing in Richard III). We were both kind of awkwardly ‘oh sorry, excuse me’ trying to get past each other, when I noticed his new Richard III t-shirt. So basically he was wearing a shirt with a picture of himself. I said ‘nice t-shirt’ to which he replied ‘oh thanks!’ and kind of petted the picture of his own face. Today has been a weird day.

minnelli:

Today at work I bumped into Martin Freeman on the stairwell on his way to his warm-up for the show tonight (for those who don’t know I work at the theatre where he’s performing in Richard III). We were both kind of awkwardly ‘oh sorry, excuse me’ trying to get past each other, when I noticed his new Richard III t-shirt. So basically he was wearing a shirt with a picture of himself. I said ‘nice t-shirt’ to which he replied ‘oh thanks!’ and kind of petted the picture of his own face. Today has been a weird day.

erlynntheemerald:

image

So I’m sure you recognize this as one of the epic moments from “The Prince of Egypt” where we see the super majestic whale as they cross through the Red Sea. However I noticed just one little issue: whale tales don’t move from side to side, they move up and down. And then it hit me, that’s not a whale. That’s not a whale. It’s a motherfucking SHARK. A BIG ASS MEGALODONIAN SHARK. WAITING IN THE WATER TO EAT THE PHARAOH’S SOLDIERS. Goddamn, Dreamworks.

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